If you live outside the UK you probably won't have heard of him. To sum him up he's a "Happy Shopper" version of Jerry Springer. Cheap, looks crap and not as good as the more established brands.
10 Annoying Things About The Jeremy Kyle Show
1. Jeremy Kyle
2. "Isn't she brave ladies and gentlemen?" No shes not Jeremy, she's a fat slag with five bastard kids who allowed some missing link to blow his beans up her.
3. The way he preaches in such a self righteous way, "You had an affair!" Well Jeremy isn't it true you shacked up with some tart behind your wifes back?
4. Shouting "...That's a FACT!" at the end of every sentence, even when the context makes no sense e.g. "Why don't you get a job? That's a FACT!" (Er...no it isn't, Jeremy, it's a question!
5. Grabbing every opportunity to tell stories which he believes show him in a good light "I used to drive all night to see my kids without any sleep" without ever stopping to think that he actually comes out of it rather badly...what about all the other motorists on the road whose lives were endangered by his sleep-deprived driving?
6. His inability to understand the concept of the phrase 'The lie detector is 96% accurate'. This means 1 result in 25 could be wrong, but this doesn't stop him from treating the piece of paper in his hand like the Magna Carta. The closest he comes is sarcastically telling the alleged liar "Oooooh, so I suppose you're one of the 4%?" Well, yes. They could be. But then to admit that does rather urinate on Jerry's next angry rant. Speaking of which:
7. Telling naughty guests "I'm going to give you both barrels" as if he's Charles Dickens promising an audience another master work, rather than a rabble-rousing daytime TV ringmaster stating the bleeding obvious, remembering to build a crescendo in the last sentence so his lackeys in the audience know when to applaud.
8. I loathe (but perversely look forward to) Mr Kyle berrating the guest villain (usually absent father/drunk mother etc) then when they burst into tears I HATE it when he says 'I know underneath it all you are a good person.....' No he's not, he's a jobless weed smoking cock who has never and will never contribute to society.
9. It's on my telly
10. "Look at me ...Look at me ...Look at me ...Look at me!"
I can't take total responsibility for this entire top 10, I got a few from a digital spy forum, but they were too good to leave out.
2 comments:
There is only one words for participants on the Jeremy Kyle show - CUNTS!
I've never hated a man so much. I hate when people don't have jobs and he acts like it's possible to just walk into a place and walk out with a job, guess what, I've been trying non stop for months and I haven't gotten a job, same goes for thousands of people!
"That is was bothers me about your generation, no one wants to get a job" - Jeremy Kyle
WTF?!! He gets paid to piss people off, and he has the cheek to say that's a job?
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