Twat of the Month

Who is this guy? He's the boyfriend of a girl who's claim to fame is being the stupidest woman on TV. This guy is a hanger on, he probably targeted Jade at some club so he could get to nob a famous bird. How the fuck did he manage to chat her up. He barely speaks? and when he does its mindless drivel. "I hate Shilpa, shes a wanker". I don't like this, I don't like that, for fuck sake vote this empty headed pretty boy out of the celebrity big brother house. Fucking designer stuble and his little creepy crap moustache and his skinny pants and his boney little ass. GET HIM OFF MY TELLY!

Gadget of the Month

I watched the Apple keynote speech last night and I was amazed to see the new i-phone. I know im a big Apple fan but they seem to have nailed the the mobile (cell) phone in one hit. It just makes you think how bad the product design skills of Motorola, Nokia, Sony and the like are. The new iphone does everything. It plays movies, its a camera, phone and internet browser. The most remarkable thing is how user friendly it looks. In Europe we should expect to see it appear just before Christmas 2007. In the States some time in the summer and early 2008 in Asia. Mark my words this thing is going to be huge. If we thought the IPod was big this could blow the competition out of the water. My only concern is the price. $499 for the 4GB model and $599 for the 8GB model. Expect to pay at least £300 in the UK for the basic model. This could be the only downfall. Hopefully they can drop the price in the future once this thing takes off and manufactring prices drop. So parents start saving your hard earned cash, this is going to be the first Christmas present on yours kids list come Christmas 07.

Bonus Twat of the Month

Late Night Quiz Shows

Where the hell did these come from? All of a sudden they have popped up out of nowhere, I first noticed it on ITV then channel 5, Sky and other digital channels followed suit. The questions are moronic beyond belief but not as moronic as the presenters, the men are spikey haired little pretty boys or outgoing happy fat funny guys who were the fat kids who used to come home from school at the end of the day covered in gob. "25,000 pounds it could change your life just ring in for a limited time only call call call and generate money for our flagging channel". The endless blurb and sad attempts to be funny in order to fill in unitl the next call. The only redeming feature of the whole programme are the women they are nice to look at but if you get passed the layers of make up and hair laquer theres not much else there. Take it off channel 5 and ITV. Put on the a late night movie or prisoner cell block H or even sport from across the pond but whatever you do get rid of these fucking borring, mindless vacuous bints off my telly.

Twat Of The Month

Christmas

Yes controversially Christmas is my twat of the month. It's not as good as it used to be. You end up spending far to much money, you put on too much weight and spend the rest of the year trying to get rid of it, you have to spend time with your family. I don't get as much as I used to when I was a kid. Bring back actionman with real guns, tanks and nazi uniforms. I want my old Christmas back and my Evel Knievel stunt bike, Star Wars toys, Space Dust, Kerplunk, Quattro pop, Stratego, Mastermind (the game with the guy with the beard and that strange vietnamese woman), The Great Escape, Digby the Biggest Dog in the World, Metal Mickey, The Amazing Mr Blunden on ITV, Raleigh Burner BMX, Simon, Slinky, Astro Wars, Scramble, those were the good old days. Perhaps its a sign of getting old, each year it becomes less enjoyable. Theres nothing on TV and the weather is crap. Merry Fucking Christmas.