Accident Adverts

I guess you have all seen those adverts for people who have suffered injuries at work. "I sued the company because someone gave me the wrong ladder". Were you blessed with the gift of sight? Well if you were didn't you realise it was the wrong fucking ladder? I guess you have been doing your job for a long time? Well you should know that you need to use the right ladder. Call me stupid but thats a basic hard wired mechanism in every human being, if I put my hand into a blender it's going to hurt. Fucking moron and the other silly cow who slips on a wet floor. Open your eyes you silly mare. £7500 he had for that fall off a ladder and what else did he have for the adverts, and for what? If you see something that looks a little dodgy for example a drill with wires hanging out and sparks cascading off it, then I would hazard a guess that it might be dangerous and that I shouldn't pick it up.

Sir Ranulph Fiennes

What an absolute legend this guy is. Unbelievable man as this interview shows.

The Internet Crash of 2007

You gotta love American news... This is probably how they would report it - if it did really happen.

Check out The Onion for more... (Alas, it proves there are at least a few smart, witty articulate Americans over there who actually get satire and do not need a fucking translation manual to view a British film)

Abracadabra
Feeling like a juicy Big Mac, but settling for a grain of rice because of the diet!

Last Post On This Ponce

This guy is unbelievably fucking thick and you can't help but laugh at him. Everything I hate about Britain.

Danny Dyer Again

This made me laugh, cockney pratt who walks like hes wading through treacle. This sums up what a tosser he is, 22 Carat prick

Cor Blimey Apples And Pears It's Danny Dyer!

Ahh the loveable cockney chimney sweep that is Danny Dyer, the king of chavs. He constantly plays up to this fantasy cockney gangster image. His stroppy little pearly queen wallk that makes him look like he's walking through a swimming pool of blancmange. What a tosser and a complete cock. Watch the football factories on Bravo and you will see what I mean. I pray everyday that he gets a good shoeing from a bunch of neanderthal footbal thugs, but it never happens. I love football and this cockney cunt is egging on those tossers who ruined football in the eighties and what a shame. The great Liverpool side of that era never played in Europe and these yobs set back British football by 10 years. Yob culture at it's ugliest.

This is not a good example to set to our kids. So Fuck you Danny Dyer, you are never going to be anything more than a bit part, typecast actor playing loveable cockney rogues. Stay off my fucking telly and of my cinema screens or I will come round your manor and stanley your belt you dirty, skinny little east end fuck pig.

For those from the eastend here is the translated cockney version.

Ahh the loveable cockney chimney sweep that is danny dyer, the kin' of chavs. 'e constantly plays up ter this fantasy cockney gangster image. Wot a Dental Flosser and a complete Brighton Rock. Kettle and Hob the footie factories on bravo and ya will clock wot I mean. I pray everyday that 'e gets a Robin Hood shoein' from a bunch of neanderthal footbal thugs, but it never 'appens. I golden dove footie and this cockney Berkshire 'unt is eggin' on these Dental Flosser 'oo ruined footie in the aities and wot a shame, the liverpool side of that era never played in europe and set Hammer and Tack british footie by Cockle Donkey's Ears. Yob culture at it's finest, donald duck Frank Bough danny ya 're never garn ter be aahhht but a bit part typecast max factor. stay Frank Bough me thumb-suckin' Strawberry Jelly or I will come round and stanley your belt.

Have a banana!

Racism

I never understand why those Neo Nazi, white power people have hitler as a hero? If they read any of hitlers literature quite a few of them would be pushed into an oven and burned or sent back home. Another thing they want to keep America white, as if it's their country by birth right. Well wouldn't the Native American Indians have more of a claim on the country. If we repatriate then we would have to send black people back to the West Indies, Africa and Asia and these white power people back to Britain, Norway, Poland, Sweden etc leaving America to the native American Indians.

Our own black, asian and white people are the problem. A lack of discipline at an early age has given people a "fuck you" attitude. If we start teaching respect and discipline at an early age combined with a good quality of education then this country will survive and prosper. But until then we will steadily decline into a more violent, materialistic existence.

Hooray For Adolph

Im a Little Nazi Tea Pot

Was he really that bad? He made the trains run on time, he liked animals and he was good to his mother. I think that hair style could come back into style, not so sure about the moustache. He was a little mean to foreigners and anyone who didn't agree with his aryan dream. But he gave us the VW beetle, Sarin gas and he made people aware of the word genocide. Cheers Adolph, we miss you!

Save The Bees

The bees are dying and we don't know why. From 1971 to 1994 98% of wild honey bees in the US have disappeared, it appears that this is also spreading to europe. Scientist say there could be a number of reasons for the decline. It could be radiation from mobile phones, GM crops, disease, pesticides, global warming or malnutrition. Why couldn't this happen to wasps? What is the point of a wasp apart from hiding in coke cans at the beach and fun fairs.
If we dont save the bees we all die. Bees polinate fruit, flowers, vegtables and they eat other pests that would destroy crops if we didn't have bees.

Is it me or is everything in the environment screwing up?

A Message To Gordon Brown And His Cabinet

Keep your fucking nose out of my life! If I want to smoke I will fucking smoke, If I want to eat fatty foods I will eat fatty foods. If I want to drive a petrol guzzling car I will drive a fucking petrol guzzling car. You keep taxing them and we will keep consuming them.

I am not a selfish cunt. I am trying to cut down on smoking and I am exercising more and I dont make non essential trips, because I want to get fitter and I have a responsibility to the environment. I don't want to be dictated to, the last time I checked this was a free country. The focus should be on heavy industry and aviation. This is where the pollution is coming from. Also how many of the cabinet are fat porkers who smoke. I would imagine quite a few. Reeks of double standards to me. Arseholes!

A Distinct Lack Of Participation From Joe Public

I have been blurting my thoughts on this blog since last year but as of yet no contribution from any one (apart from abracadabra). Come on! Contribute people, there must be other miserable gits out there like me and abracadabra.